A time of transition
On moving to Asheville
Hilariously, I started this year with an article titled “The Practice of Practicing” as what I thought would be the first of many posts throughout this year. However, practicing has looked less like showing up publicly online and more like practicing grace and patience with myself through a year of transitions. How many drafts are sitting half-written in my Substack dashboard? Too many.
I have nearly avoided writing another Substack post altogether, feeling a little embarrassed that my word of the year — “practice” — hasn’t been quite as effective as I’d envisioned. However, the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve doubled down on the idea that I have been practicing, it just may not have shown up in my life as I initially expected.
It’s been a whirlwind the last few months as my partner and I have been in a big period of change, moving to a new city in a new state (hello Asheville!) and settling into a new community and, for him, a new job. The idea of routine has looked like a big ol’ question mark as we navigate the shift in energy in our home life, balancing work and rest and our intentional time spent together. For me, it’s looked like more rest than normal, giving myself plenty of grace as it tends to take a while for me to settle into a new place; meanwhile, my partner has been in near-constant go mode with his new gig, and rest has been a luxury.
If you’ve moved recently, you know how exhausting that upheaval and resettling of your life is. It always seems to take longer than you feel it should, and every time I move I find I’ve blocked out any memories of frustration from previous moves. As I work to get my feet back under me and get back to making art (my full-time job), I have to actively remind myself that big life transitions like this take time, and I am allowed to be gentle with myself as I figure out what my new day-to-day looks like.
The idea of rest has always been a tough one for me, as it has felt like something I have to earn and justify out loud to any present company for fear of being perceived as lazy; in my mind, rest is not a right I am allowed to exercise when I need it but something that comes as a prize for exhausting oneself. This is one of the biggest traps we fall into in our society: rest is largely equated with laziness, as we are taught that production is tied to self-worth — and that’s capitalism, baby!
But what if we consider rest as a necessary part of the creative process?
The adage “you can’t pour from an empty cup” come to mind. Resting and recharging is just as important to the creative process as showing up in the studio. Taking time to rest allows for the development of ideas through organic and unplanned interaction with the world and with our thoughts as they still.
Oftentimes when I’m in creative mode, I struggle to slow down and allow myself the patience to think through new ideas without actually making anything. It’s easy to be caught up in the race to the finish line — the “finish line” being a finished painting that’s ready to sell, rather than a finished work I am actually ready to share with the world. Confused? Me too. Let’s break down this conundrum:
Looking around on social media, I see nothing but artists who make make make! in prolificacy, and they seemingly do not ever make work that looks like absolute dog shit and ends up in the trash.
What happened to making bad work?
What happened to sharing bad work?
What happened to recognizing that creativity has its rhythm, just like any other practice or habit in our lives? There are some days where you can show up with 100% of your energy and still come away from hours in the studio with nothing. There are also days where you can show up with 10% effort and begin a masterpiece.
If you’re a creative, you understand. You know that some seasons — yes, definitively longer than days — are harder to create within than others. I find that I am always inspired but not always inspired to create. There are always ideas bubbling under the surface, but it’s not always time for those ideas to physically manifest in the reality I’m living. Some things need to incubate (a word I’m a big fan of when it comes to my creativity), and sometimes it’s neither the time nor the place to make certain work.
Creativity comes when it’s ready; it always does.
I have thoroughly digressed from the initial purpose of this entry, as is my curse.
I came here thinking I’d write about what I have practiced in lieu of sharing here on Substack, and I’d like to list a small round-up, both for myself and for you, dear reader.
RESTING. I think we’ve covered the basics above, but I’ll say it again: creativity doesn’t happen without downtime to recharge and get inspired!
SAYING YES. Yes to markets, yes to gallery opportunities, yes to creative collaborations, yes to life outside the studio. Growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it requires us showing up and actively opting in!
YAPPING. I’m so serious about this! Your girl can talk — like, to anyone. I love making friends with strangers, and now living in a new city you bet your bottom dollar I have been yapping my ass off to the folks next to me at the neighborhood restaurant bar, the coffee shop barista, tourists coming into the gallery, booth neighbors at art markets, etc.
BEING GENTLE WITH MYSELF. This one’s tough. It’s so easy to fall into self-judgement and shame around the things I told myself I’d do but haven’t done yet. Which leads me to a post I’m about to draft (and hopefully share asap, as it pertains to the certain shifts I’m feeling in this immediate moment). More on this — a LOT more on this and all other points — very soon.
Thanks for checking in here, friend. I hope you find some solace in the fact that you’re not alone in this creative rat race and there is indeed another human out there in this wide world mid-life transition and feeling it. To be continued.
To take a peek at my artwork and see what I’m up to, my Instagram is the most relevant place at the moment! That is another shift I’m making, and you can join me on my creative email newsletter as well to keep up with happenings in my studio. Need some art, like now? I’ve got art waiting right here for you to collect on my website.
love hearing your thoughts, friend! one of my favorite quotes about this creative ebb and flow is “you can’t have meaningful output without meaningful input.” cheers to meaningful rest, yaps, travels, and inspiration!